Thursday, September 6, 2012

VMA 2012 Live-Blog

This is a live-blog of the 2012 MTV Video Music Awards. Refresh your screen to read the latest comments.

Ok, here we go. I haven't watched the VMAs in kind of a long time (I think). My last time was back when the whole Kanye West interrupting Taylor Swift thing happened. Although I do remember watching Kanye's great performance of "Runaway" the year after, but I don't think I watched much of that show besides that one part.

19:21 Woops, there's already a winner. Demi Lovato wins 'Best Video with a Message', just like I predicted. If you read my prediction, you'll know I hate this category. And now she is performing.

19:26 Well, that performance... happened. It wasn't very memorable, neither was it a disaster. I wish the show doesn't continue this way. I want to see some tv-worthy moments.

19:43 Another winner, Best Electronic Video goes to Calvin Harris. I didn't see that coming. How big is he? Is the song even a huge hit? I thought either "Levels" or Skrillex would win. He is the "in-house DJ". That continues this new award-show trend of having an in-house band to play during commercial breaks, which doesn't really mean much for those of us watching at home.

19:50 Green Day talking about Pussy Riot. It's a shame they were incarcerated, but Pussy Riot's music is pretty terrible.

19:52 The "Fierce Five", as they're called now, are now super famous, which I think is kind of cool. This guy is asking them pretty stupid questions, though.

19:59 The show's about to start, here's hoping I don't regret watching this instead of the DNC.

20:02 This is a very VMA-y performance, all style, no substance (especially with that ridiculous throne). Rihanna is barely singing at all. Also, are those curse-words being bleeped or is my television malfunctioning?

20:03 "We Found Love" starts playing and now we're talking. I think Rihanna has gotten better as a live-performer, but I can't even tell if she is singing at all, so there's that. Also, Nicki Minaj looks like a really shiny limo-driver.

20:06 Kevin Hart is introduced with a nod to the DNC. I don't know what to make of his dwarf security entourage. Is that offensive or am I being offensive thinking that is offensive? I can't take politically correctness anymore. Let's hope he says some funny things.

20:09 Nicki Minaj isn't amused by this Drake likes to recycle so he threw a bottle at Chris Brown bit and neither am I.

20:10 Oh no, he'll talk about Snooki now... and he doesn't really insult her so that's sort of.. oh, now he'll talk about Kristen Stewart. He is cursing a lot and usually wouldn't mind it, but the volume droping on my tv is kind of driving me crazy thinking something's wrong.

20:13 I expected more laughs from Hart in his monologue, now Katy Perry present Best Pop Video. I predicted Bieber, but I now think One Direction will win. I wasn't paying attention and all of a sudden those guys are insanely popular... It goes to One Direction. They hug. The girls around them aren't going crazy enough in my opinion.

20:17 Now, a video of Kevin Hart suggesting 2-Chainz become 3-Chainz. So far nothing's either great or terrible and I start to regret doing this live-blog. Commercials, I'll eat something.

20:24 Oh I get it, the jersey is too big for him. Lil' Wayne certainly found that funny. And now they are introducing Miley Cyrus and another guy to introduce Pink. That's too many introductions, MTV.

20:26 I don't know what is the big appeal of Pink. It doesn't help that my Spotify runs an ad for this song every five minutes. She did have an amusing intro to the song in which she played a synthesizer and sung a little bit of 'Get the Part Started'.

20:28 Either I'm going paranoid or there is too many bleeped cursing in this show so far. There's also giant lips dancing because the song is called "Blow My One Last Kiss".

20:30  Best Male Video now. They're apparently hot and talented. I'm hoping for Frank Ocean, but this is probably going to Justin Bieber... And it goes to Chris Brown. Wow, apparently America is team Chris as far as Rihanna's boyfriends are concerned.

20:38 Frank Ocean performs for what is probably his biggest crowd yet. The guy is very talented, but this arrangement for the song is really weird. It started rather bad, but now it's pretty good, albeit a little dull. Do I think he will gain millions of fans out of this performance? Most probably no. This was his time to blow people away and I don't think he did. His jungle set looked pretty cool though, like the most romantic campfire ever.

20.45 Unrelated commercial commentary: Those Kia Soul hamsters have really overstayed their welcome. The VW learning spanish in the car commercial gets me every time, though.

20:49 Rashida Jones and Andy Samberg present Best Hip Hop Video. I would love a win for Childish Gambino aka Donald Glover... It goes to Drake and Lil' Wayne, who is wearing headphones right now and, thus, is still the most unbearably ridiculous person in the world. Nicki Minaj is also on stage looking terrible in her chauffeur costume.

20:59 One Direction performs. I guess they're ok, but they don't do enough dancing to be called a "boy band" in the strict meaning of the word. It's not like they're singing the most complicated notes ever, so why not move it a little bit? Katy Perry whispers something to Rihanna and I can only assume she said something like: "I miss NSync, I hope they'd dance".

21:02 Rebel Wilson (who is really good in Bachelorette) and The Wanted present female video. Wilson is sort of funny. Nicki Minaj wins. Apparently people don't appreciate "We Found Love"'s genius stupidity as much as I do. Nicki Minaj acts surprised in the not-surprised Taylor Swift kind of way.

21:11 2-Chainz and Lil' Wayne perform. Ugh. I didn't sign up for this. Suffice to say I don't find the appeal of these gentlemen. Wait. My bad. Apparently, it's 2 Chainz, without the dash.

21:24 Gangman Style time. Psy and Kevin Hart are on stage to banter a bit. Katy Perry just got it. And is now really enjoying it. I was hoping Psy would actually perform.

21:25 Now Emma Watson and a guy that looks like a mexican version of the stoner guys at my high-school. They introduce Green Day. Aw, do you remember when it was 2005 and Green Day was like the biggest thing ever? I wonder if anyone cares about them anymore, but they're on MTV... which doesn't really answer my question.

21:28 Ok, so far every single performance has included bleeped cursing. This is something that bothers me way more than it should. MTV isn't really censoring these words the right way.

21:35 No Kristen Stewart to present this Twilight trailer. Now, it's time for me to say I think it's pretty unfair and sexist the way she's being treated for this scandal.

21:36 Kesha and Whiz Khalifa are presenting New Artist. Whiz Khalifa talks about his baby, but the internet tells me Beyonce's announcement last year was a bigger deal. The winner is One Direction, as expected at this point. They would have won in every category had they been nominated. Rihanna is now about to whisper into Katy's ear, but suddenly changes her mind. Exciting!

21:39 A couple of months ago I met a guy who said some kids confused him with a member of One Direction, I now know what he was talking about. I just the guy who looks just like him.

21:44 The fierce five! They are incredibly wooden presenting, but they do deserve to be celebrities. Now, Alicia Keys. Man, had I forgotten how great she is. I kind of like this song. She hasn't gone back to the greatness of "Songs in A Minor" or "The Diary of Alicia Keys" so far in her career, though.

21:48 Now some gymnastics courtesy of Gabby Douglas. America loves her and with good reason. Katy Perry doesn't seem impressed by the performance (Alicia's I assume).

21:51 Taylor Swift is a little weird looking, isn't she? Or am I biased because of the girl in my high-school who said she was the peruvian Taylor Swift?

21:55 Kevin Hart has turned out to be a disappointing host or maybe my expectations were too high? He is now presenting Video of the Year. I wonder if this was always the plan or someone canceled... The winner is Rihanna and thank god I wasn't there to Kanye Nicki Minaj's win.

21:57 Kevin Hart invites everybody to vote, but the electoral fever isn't as big as it was in the last election. Taylor Swift is closing up the show in a fine, although meh, performance. I regret having said she looks weird, because she looks very good right now. She did look weird on that commercial interview, though.

22:00 The signal on my television just went out and I initially though Taylor Swift had cursed. A nice payoff to my raging obsession with the bleeping this evening, I guess.

22:02 Oh my god, they're rebroadcasting the whole thing... I couldn't possibly watch this twice.

Well, this has been exhausted, but hey I won't give up! I'm live-blogging the Emmys on September 23! Being back next year to live-blog the 2013 VMAs might be a whole other story, though.

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